I'm a grownup and deserve quality luggage.
"After decades of travel using shoddy duffles, free bags from vendors, or swag from work, I finally decided that this 51 year old man deserves a sturdy, thoughtfully engineered carry on. I was particularly impressed with how well these small casters negotiate an uneven sidewalk. Well done. In closing, I am going to ask a popular LLM what the opposite of "buyer's remorse" is. Cuz I got that."